The Love of a Male vs Female Dog
When we went to pick up our 8-week-old Labrador, Lewie, the breeder said something to us that I’ve never forgotten: “A girl dog will love you, but a boy dog falls in love with you.”
In the many years that Ron and I have been together, we’ve had both female and male dogs. Each experience has been unique, but sometimes when Lewie is cuddled up on my lap, I think of the breeder’s words and wonder if the love you get from a boy dog is different than that of a girl dog.
Our female dog—Indy, was Ron’s dog when we met many years ago. She was sweet, extremely smart, and affectionate. We didn’t have other dogs or kids back then, so it was just the three of us. Indy definitely had a pecking order in her mind. It was Ron, her, and then me… and I got it - they had spent years together before I came along. Indy was Ron’s and I was theirs. We saw this pecking order/alpha behavior again more recently with a female foster dog, Sophie, whom we took in for a short while. Sophie came to us when we had Moses and Lewie, and within 24 hours, she had established a hierarchy—the humans, her, Moses, and poor Lewie at the bottom.
Having two male dogs, we never saw this structure develop, not even when we took in a male foster dog named Jeff (yes, Jeff) for about a month. The three male dogs just hung out and played. If there were any squabbles, they were settled quickly and everyone was friends again.
In doing some reading, I found that while both male and female dogs form deep, affectionate bonds with their humans, there are differences in how they express their love. Male dogs are often more playful and independent, while female dogs might seek more attention and physical closeness, potentially appearing more nurturing or protective. Thinking of all of the dogs we’ve had in our lives thus far, I can see those male/female dynamics at play…and the breeder’s comment makes a lot of sense!
Looking back at the many dogs we’ve shared our lives with—Indy, Sophie, Jeff, Mo, and Lewie—I’m reminded of how each one brought their own unique personality and way of loving into our home. Indy and Sophie, with their alpha ways and nurturing affection, showed us the loving loyalty and intelligence of girl dogs. They were sweet, confident, and deeply connected to us in their own ways. And, Mo and Lewie love us in their own ways as well—wholeheartedly, devoutly, and playfully.
I especially ponder this in those moments when Lewie curls up next to me, gazing at me with his adoring eyes. I can’t help but smile and remember the breeder’s words: “A girl dog will love you, but a boy dog falls in love with you.” There’s something undeniably special about the way our boy dogs love us.